The Misadventures Of New Jersey
by firepoisonsteel
Summary: Let's face it, nobody likes New Jersey. Mainly because of Jersey Shore. So, once America comes up with the brilliant idea of selling New Jersey to China for money to pay off debts, everyone is happy! Except for China, of course, who is stuck with the stupid thing...
1. Chapter 1

This is a story about America's debt to China. Now, even though it is only around 12 percent of the total debt of the US, and that China owes America some money, it is still a massive amount of debt.

So, America was thinking of a way to get rid of that debt. He could reduce spending, but his boss would not approve. He could sell a state, but he loved all of his children! He couldn't just sell one of his kids! That doesn't go with his ideology!

Then, a 16 year old entered America's home. He had jeans pulled down under his waist, a backwards cap, and a gold chain with the letters N and J on his neck. He was tan, and had black hair. His shirt had the words "Jersey Shore" printed upon them. He was thin and had a little muscle. Then, his pet cow went through, also with a backwards cap and a gold chain that said "T".

" Yo, dad, I got arrested again! Turns out you can't shoot people because they insulted your body," the 16 year old said in an annoying accent. " I need about twenty million dollars for legal fees!" America looked at the 16 year old and a smile appeared on his face. " Hey, New Jersey, do you want to go on a vacation," America said. " As long as Trenton comes along with me," New Jersey said as he pointed to the cow. The cow mooed. " Yeah, you can bring him..."

America dug into his pockets and pulled out his phone. He dialed the number for China and brought the phone to his ear. After a couple of seconds, China picked the phone up.

" Hello America, this is China. What do you want?" " Hey, I'll sell you one of my states if you get rid of my debts!" China paused for a moment and whispered Hawaii for a couple of times. " OK Aru, deal! Now, I will pick up Hawaii, the closest state to me at 7:30-"

America laughed. " You aren't getting Hawaii! Your getting someone, um, better?" New Jersey was standing on his cow, flexing and not paying attention to the conversation. America chuckled. " I'll ship him to you, and he should arrive tomorrow! Goodby!" America quickly hung up and looked at New Jersey.

China, surprised that America hung up so soon, thought of states he could receive. Maybe California, Oregon, or Washington would be in his control!

{2 Hours Later}

New Jersey, Trenton, and America were in front of an extremely large post office. The sky was clear and sunny, sunlight shining on a sign on the top of the post office that said "UPS". The building was blue at the top and bottom with white in the middle. Two large glass doors stood in front of the group. America was carrying a gigantic box with foam spewing out of it.

" Yo, dad, this doesn't seem like a vacation spot," New Jersey said, unamused. Trenton mooed in agreement. " Well, I need to mail something to China. he would probably go to war with us if I didn't," America explained, trying to hold back a grin that would surely make New Jersey suspicious...

America looked at the spot where New Jersey was a couple of seconds ago. He couldn't find the annoying thing! He looked around, and saw New Jersey laying on top of two poles. " Yo, dad, this is the perfect spot for PLANKING!" Then, New Jersey fell down and a crack filled the air.

" Dad, I'm BLEEDING!" America smiled and picked up New Jersey. He laid him in the box. " This foam will help stop the bleeding!" America then picked up Trenton and threw him into the box. He quickly closed it before New Jersey could try to escape, and brought some duct tape out of his pocket. He sealed the box as New Jersey started to protest. Then, once the box was safely sealed, he poked a hole in a box using a pencil. He slapped a sticker with China's address on it and put a stack of cash on the box with "Shipping" drawn on the first bill. America laughed as he walked away, got into his car, and left.

{1 Day Later}

New Jersey and Trenton were silent as the sound of an airplane engine filled their ears. They stopped trying to escape or talk because that would use up energy that should be used for rapping and watching Jersey Shore. New Jersey was OK once his father abandoned him. America was holding him back!

{12 Hours Later}

New Jersey and Trenton couldn't go to sleep! That engine was starting to get really annoying! However, as seen as New Jersey thought about the engine, it stopped! Oh, what a relief! It was now time to get some well deserved sleep...

Then, his crate hit the ground. Thankfully, New Jersey had the foam to cushion his fall, and Trenton had New Jersey to cushion his fall! Now, after New Jersey yelped in pain, Trenton rolled off of him. He felt the crate being dragged around for a couple of minutes and then, a beam of light shined on his face.

China was confused once he got his new peace of land. He didn't expect America to ACTUALLY ship the state to him. Well, it didn't matter how the state was shipped to him! This person is the first step to creating a great Chinese empire again! So, China decided to give him/her a friendly greeting!

" Hello, Aru! Welcome to the Chinese empire!" The thing in the box groaned and then yelled. " ARE YOU TELLING ME AMERICA GAVE ME TO CHINA, WHERE EVERYBODY EATS DOGS AND CATS AND BARELY HAS ANY MONEY TO LIVE ON? DID HE LITERALLY SHIP ME TO THE PLACE WHERE THOSE HORRIBLE SPECIAL EDITION JERSEY SHORE DVD'S WERE MADE!?

China frowned. He didn't expect the state to LIE SO MUCH! His people were totally rich! Yeah...

" What is your name, new part of the Chinese empire?" The state crawled out of the box and looked up at his new "Father". " I'm New Jersey, ya dog eating stupid Asian," New Jersey said in his accent. China frowned. " You are now under my control, so you must obey my rules. If you do not obey my rules, you will go where Tibet is!" New Jersey looked confused. " Tibet? Isn't that somewhere in Africa?"

China stared at the less than impressive 16 year old. A couple trillion dollars for him? What a ripoff! Then, the box moved. " Is another nation in there, Aru?" China has a sparkle in his eye. " Nah, it's Trenton, MY COW!" The cow in question mooed in response and popped his head out. China looked at the cow and licked his lips. " I never get fresh beef in Beijing!" Trenton started mooing, looking worried. New Jersey took off his shirt and yelled at China. " DON'T TOUCH TRENTON OR YOU WILL BE DESTROYED BY SNOOKIE!" China looked at the 16 year old and raised an eyebrow. "Snookie?"

New Jersey stared at the Asian nation. " Yeah, Snookie from Jersey shore! She's my role model! I'll have to show you her someday!"

Now, before we continue with the conversation. Let me describe the room to you. New Jersey and China were standing in the middle of the room while Trenton was in the box beside them. A large rug was in the center of the room, with couches on either sides that had pillows with flowers on them. A chandelier was at the top of the room and providing light. A giant Chinese dragon was just outside the rug, seemingly breathing fire.

China looked at New Jersey in disgust. " I will not watch American TV Shows, and neither will you!" New Jersey's draw dropped open. " BUT A NEW SEASON OF JERSEY SHORE IS COMING ON, YOU CRUEL MONSTER! YOU MUST LET ME WATCH MY REALITY TV!"

" Those shows are extremely stupid, Aru! I don't want your brain being poisoned even more!" New Jersey looked at China for a couple of seconds. " Come on Trenton, we're leaving!" The cow quickly pushed himself out of the box and followed New Jersey, who expected to get away just fine.

However, China thought differently. " GUARDS, PLEASE SEND THIS MAN TO TIBET'S ROOM!" New Jersey once again thought how China could be in control of an African country, but that thought was quickly replaces by "RUN!"

So, New Jersey and Trenton ran and actually successfully got out of China's palace! However, there was one more problem.

An America and a Cow were running away from Chinese guards at high speeds, yelling about Jersey Shore. In the middle of Beijing. Beijing, one of the most densely populated places in the world. I'm just going to leave you to think about what happened.


	2. Chapter 2

As New Jersey caused chaos in Beijing, a celebration was happening in Washington D.C.

51 people celebrated in a gigantic room. There was a disco ball in the middle, illuminating a dance floor flashing different colors. Confetti and balloons were strewn around. A couple of windows were on each side, showing a starry sky. Tables were on each side of the dance floor, filled with snacks, cake and drinks. At the back of the room, a television with several gaming consoles was set up.

A short girl, around the age of 13, approached America. She was Puerto Rican, and had small lips, black eyes, and a large nose. Her form was slightly chubby, and her hair was brown and decently long. She was smiling from ear to ear, and was wearing a tight fitting shirt and a tight fitting pair of pants. The pants and the shirt were both blue.

" Hey, dad, thanks for making me a state," the girl said to America. " No problem, Puerto Rico!" Puerto Rico smiled and went back to the dance floor.

Meanwhile, North Dakota and Wisconsin were hiding in the corner and awkwardly staring at the room. North Dakota was average, wearing a business suit and looking like an average American 18 year old male with an acne virus destroying their face. However, his face was made less average by having blonde hair in a bowl cut. Also, his muscle mass wasn't average at all. He barely had any! However, other than that, he was the average socially awkward 18 year old male.

Wisconsin was wearing a gigantic cheese hat. He had over bitten teeth, and had no acne. He was also wearing a business suit, and he was shorter and less muscular than North Dakota. Both of them were great friends.

" Hey, North Dakota," Wisconsin whispered. " What?" " Since New Jersey is gone, maybe we can get more attention!" North Dakota nodded and they both started to awkwardly laugh. A potato rolled over to the group while they were laughing.

" Hi Idaho," North Dakota said, picking up the potato. Idaho was so insignificant that he didn't even get a human form. He was just a potato. It was really sad if you thought about it.

North Dakota, Wisconsin, and Idaho decided to leave. Nobody noticed them since they were so insignificant, so they were free to do anything they want. Wisconsin suggested to go to a cheese eating, but Idaho probably would be eaten at any event involving food. After a couple of minutes of discussing, the three decided to visit the white house.

However, that failed as the guards couldn't tell that they were states. They are REALLY insignificant. Wisconsin threw a block of cheese at the guards as they left, and the group decided to sit on the lawn of the white for fun. Really, it wasn't fun.

So, this short chapter has come to an end. Really, it's filler, but I really wanted to do something with North Dakota and Wisconsin. They will appear later. Goodbye!


	3. Chapter 3

Now, even though I would like to talk about New Jersey and China, something was happening to the states. Idaho, Washington, and Oregon were on fire. Yes, they were covered with flames. In their beds. That are made of cloth. In a house that was mostly wood.

So, once Idaho, Washington, and Oregon spontaneously combusted, America's house was absolutely destroyed. Thankfully, Alaska wasn't wearing heavy clothing like he usually does, and nobody died from the flames. Except for Idaho, but once Idaho died another potato appeared in his capitol building. I don't know what his capital is, but I'm pretty sure it's Potato Land with a population of 12. Anyway, the house was a mess of black rubble. Smoke filled the sky, blocking out the sun that was just starting to rise. California called firefighters to try to extinguish Washington and Oregon, who were still covered in flames.

While Wisconsin and North Dakota went to get Idaho, and Oregon and Washington were being extinguished, the other states and America tried to find Wyoming, who fought she was a buffalo. Hey, at least she got some attention from other states because she was crazy. North Dakota would kill for some attention like that.

After finding Wyoming peacefully eating grass, the 45 states that were present started gathering their belongings that didn't get destroyed. America was planning to ship all of the valuables to a storage room that he got extremely cheap in China. Idaho, North Dakota, and Wisconsin arrived shortly after America gave instructions to get the valuables, so they were confused. Now, they were curious what was in the gigantic crate in front of them, but both of them couldn't reach the top. So, North Dakota grabbed Idaho from Wisconsin and raised the hand with Idaho in it. " Do you see anything in there?" However, before the potato could do anything, North Dakota accidentally dropped him in the crate.

North Dakota felt Idaho leaving his hand, so he quickly got a nearby stool that he didn't notice before and put it in front of the crate. He climbed in the crate, and dived in, trying to find Idaho. Wisconsin, the genius he is, decided to climb into the box, too. Then, California came.

California was the definition of teenage liberal brat. At about 18, she was thin and tall with gigantic, um, watermelons. Of course, she had a phone that she always was talking on, and she was extremely Liberal in politics. She also had every type of makeup imaginable everywhere. Well, once California came in front of the crate with her red cheerleader outfit and short skirt, loudly talking on the phone, Wisconsin thought that it would be fun to prank the blonde haired blue eyed laugh. So, he decided to cover himself and North Dakota, who still was searching for Idaho, with stuff and waited for California to get in front of the crate.

" Like, OMG! Like, you, like are so funny! LOL NEVADA! LOL! LOL!" Wisconsin tried to keep himself from groaning at California's California-ness and waited until she was directly in front of the crate.

" Hey, like, I NEED to get that new mascara at the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Before California could finish that sentence, Wisconsin jumped up from the crate and threw some cheese at her. California, still panicking, took her bag full of makeup and knocked him on the head. Wisconsin fell over into the crate, knocked out. Then, North Dakota popped out, and California did the same thing to him. After that, California dropped her makeup collections on the two boys, covering them up.

Now, once California ran inside screaming, everyone thought she was overreacting about a silly thing once again. So, everyone got everything they wanted in the crate, America closed it, and it was shipped to China.

With Wisconsin and North Dakota in it.

Oh yeah, Idaho was also in there.

So, this isn't filler!

Yeah!


	4. Chapter 4

New Jersey was running along with Trenton. In fact, he was running with the cow for a solid 3 months! That's dedication! I mean, imagine all of the calories they burned! Could you do that on a diet of scorpions and dog meat? I mean, could you? You probably couldn't!

Anyway, they were stopped abruptly by the one, the only, the best nation in the world, LUXEMBOURGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Luxembourg was king awesome! He was so awesome that nobody could even look at him without being turned into a true blooded Luxembourg fanboy/fangirl!

Wait, you haven't heard about Luxembourg? Well, that's probably because he's an idiotic, debt ridden, obese, egotistical kid wearing a skin tight red unitard that was thrown onto the bus from Luxembourg to Beijing by his own people. He was actually panting! He was panting after walking five step from the bus stop! FIVE. STEPS. This guy is even more pathetic than North Dakota, Wyoming, Wisconsin, Idaho, New Jersey, and PALAU COMBINED! Palau is the guy who couldn't even scare North Dakota! That's how pathetic Luxembourg was!

So, New Jersey stopped to trip him. He fell on the ground, breaking his sunglasses. " My shades, yo! Not cool, bruh," He said while beginning to cry. New Jersey started to laugh at this pathetic boy, pausing. That was a big mistake.

The guards, somehow not tired out, caught up to New Jersey and Trenton. They proceeded to shoot Luxembourg because he was so darn shootable. Then, they took all three of the idiots into custody.

MEANWHILE IN SHANGHAI

Wisconsin, Idaho, and North Dakota woke up in a crowded box. " Hey, Idaho, why is it so hot in here?" " Are we inside a cow?" " Well, it seems like this cow ate some bad music that California listens to." " Wait, if we are in a cow, then we can have the freshest cheese possible!" " That would be something you would like, Wisconsin."

Then, O'Potato Lord Idaho rose up and spoke, giving the delusional kids the truth to the situation! Of course, even though he opened the container, and light spewed in, the other people in the box still were delusional.

" Hey, Wisconsin, the cow is opening its mouth!" " I hope it eats some furniture! We can really improve our new living space!"

Then, Idaho tilted the box over with his potato powers!

" THE COW IS DEAD! THE COW IS DEAD! THE COW IS DEAD! NORTH DAKOTA, THE COW IS DEAD!"

Then, a guy in the warehouse noticed them, and pulled them out.

" You can pull people out of cows!?" " Of course they can, North Dakota! Don't you know that people are trained in this field?"

The man who pulled them out couldn't handle them, and threw them out. So, two idiots, one obsessed with cheese and the other extremely forgettable, and a potato were in Shanghai. Yeah, China is going to be extremely mad.

MEANWHILE IN AMERICA

" Hey dad, is anyone missing?"

" Why would you think such a thing, Illinois?"

" I don't know. I'm going to go to my room and try to improve my mental health. It's probably in shatters."

Yeah, I didn't abandon this story! See you in a couple of months!


	5. Chapter 5

THE STATE REEDUCATION OFFICE

BEIJING, CHINA

New Jersey, Trenton, Luxembourg, and 2 other states sat down in a cramped classroom. There were no windows, beige walls, and beige desks and chairs. Everyone was wearing beige clothes. The only bits of color were on a flat, steel desk in the back of the classroom, a green chalkboard, and a Chinese flag hung up near the desk.

" Yo, this style sucks! I can't make my vines in here! Hey, maybe I can make a vine complaining that I can't make a vine!"

Presenting New Jersey's Vine, the second most important piece of art made during the seven seconds he filmed it, only behind a kindergartner's macaroni portrait of a waiter at Hooter's:

" Eh, these people be like " YOU SET FIRE TO THE CITY OF BEIJING OFF SCREEN BETWEEN THE TIME FROM CHAPTER 4 TO CHAPTER 5! YOU GOTS TO GETS SOME EDUMACATIONS!" Well, how am I supposed to make Vines if I get some EDUMACATIONS!? What do these people expect?"

Now, with that bit of art out of the way, the teacher walked into the classroom. He had black shined shoes, a black suit, slicked back black hair, and a mustache that New Jersey described as " Nazi-like." He was fairly fat, and waddled into the room.

The students watched awkwardly as he took his time to sit in his chair. " Welcome to reeducation classes. Didn't know that they allowed cows in," The Man said unenthusiastic ally in a German accent. Trenton let out an offended moo.

Luxembourg raises his hand. " Since this is a school, shouldn't it have cookies and crayons?" The Man raised an eyebrow at this. " Who wants to bet that this guy will be dead by the end of the week?" The two other students raised their hands, one with a twenty dollar bill, and the other with a ten dollar bill and some sort of concert ticket. " Well then, meet me in the valley behind the school tomorrow with him in a body bag," The Man said in an unemotional voice.

The Man then took a good look at the class. " Well, here's the first lesson. Lock yourself in the closet and suffocate. With the cow, it should be quick." He threw the keys at Luxembourg, who caught them. " I'm going to take a nap. Scream once your dead." Then, he dropped like a log.

The five students stared at each other. Then, Luxembourg broke the silence by standing up. " The closet sounds fun!" He went to the door, unlocked it, and walked in. " Ooh! Spikes!" New Jersey got up and slammed the door behind him. " Well, the idiot is dead. What should we do?"

Trenton mooed. The two unidentified characters wanted to introduce themselves.

Well, after a long session of mooing, the two kids introduced themselves. One was a black male with an Afro, and the other was a White Tibetan women. The first one was Detroit, and the other was Tibet.

" I noticed something. The flag seems thicker than other flags," Tibet said. She, along with New Jersey crept up behind the teacher and grabbed the flag. " Hey, there's a little corner in the upper right corner," Tibet observed. New Jersey pulled on it, and the Chinese flag fell off to reveal a Nazi flag.

" GAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" " Detroit, you are not helping." " BE QUIET TIBET!

SHANGHAI

SOME KARATE PLACE

" YOU'VE GOT THIS WISCONSIN!" North Dakota was cheering on Wisconsin, who was fighting a Black Belt.

Two seconds later, they were in a hospital.

" I hate being a side character..."

" Wisconsin, drink your soup. Your not well."

" What even happened between chapters?"

" I don't have the slightest idea."

UTAH

SOME DESERT PLACE

" GET OFF OF MY YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT!" Utah was fending off wild tumbleweeds from his 7 wives and 59 children in his yurt in the middle of nowhere Utah while rehearing verses from the Mormon bible.


	6. Chapter 6

REEDUCATION CLASSES

Luxembourg unlocked the closet door.

" It worked," Luxembourg said. The fat man got up. " Yes! Now, it's time to catch them!"

Both of them looked around. " Hey, Nazi Germany, we didn't really think about this, did we?"

" No, Luxembourg. We did not."

BEIJING

Tibet cheered as Detroit got ran over by a war elephant.

Let me explain. So, Detroit has a population of idiots who poop in the streets. India has a population of idiots who poop in the streets. So, India wanted to conquer Detroit because they were so alike. India got on a War Elephant and marched to Beijing, hoping to catch a ferry to California and then march to Detroit. However, on his way through Beijing, he ran over a lot of people.

" Help! He stole my wallet," One lady said before she got squished by the elephant. Another person squashed was holding a treatment to Cancer that is now ruined forever. Another guy was about to tell his wife that he got a promotion and feed his family. The final guy was Detroit. Detroit, sadly, didn't die from the marching elephant.

India got off of his War Elephant and picked up Detroit. " Hello, American! Come with me!" Detroit could not protest because he was critically injured, so he was carried away to India. Tibet cheered. New Jersey laughed. Trenton mooed.

So, Tibet, New Jersey, and Trenton locked hands and pranced across the streets of Beijing.

SHANGHAI

Idaho, Wisconsin, and North Dakota were also prancing. " Wow, North Dakota, this is a great experience!" Then, a girl stepped in front of them. She had long hair, and was Portuguese. She had VERY revealing clothing. I mean REALLY revealing clothing, just a swimsuit and a jacket. Then, she got really close to Wisconsin.

" Uh, uh, uh, uh..." Wisconsin stuttered as the woman gave him a feisty look. " What's your name?"

" I'm Macau. Follow me to my Casino..."

She slithered away. North Dakota and Wisconsin looked at each other. " Hey, Wisconsin, that woman was pretty hot. Idaho, what do you think?" "..." " Really? We should follow her?" "..." " Well, I can't argue with that logic..."

The three followed Macau to Macau. Then, they went into a casino. " I'm glad you followed me. We need you." North Dakota and Wisconsin got closer to her. " Hey, man, what should we do?" " I don't know North Dakota..."

" Boys, I know you want to look at me, but I know you are states." " How did you know?" " How could I not know? You were prancing around the streets of China with a potato wearing a cheese hat and an "I love oil because I am North Dakota" shirt."

North Dakota, Wisconsin, and Idaho stopped talking. " Anyway, Nazi Germany and Luxembourg are planning to conquer the world!"

North Dakota stared at Macau. " And?"

Macau looked confused. " Wait, are you not worried about that?"

North Dakota nodded his head. " Let's stop talking about conquering and play some blackjack," Wisconsin said.

Macau sighed. " Well, I guess we can play Blackjack..."

Wisconsin and North Dakota celebrated.

AMERICA

Nebraska was sitting in a chair.

" I have an idea!"

Nebraska sat on the couch.

" Much, much better."

INDIA:

" YO! I NEED TO MAKE MY VINES! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YO RELIGUMICATIONS, I NEED MAH VEENES!"

India realized that Detroit was a piece of crap, and kicked him into the Indian Ocean. His phone was ruined, and he started crying.

It was the most successful Vine in history.

A CONFERENCE ABOUT INTERNATIONAL TRADE

" MY YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT!" Utah was aggressively stabbing businessmen.

BEIJING

New Jersey was planking on a fence, with Tibet giggling and Trenton mooing. However, China came in at that exact time.

" You will never leave me again, aru..."

China grabbed New Jersey and Tibet and went to his home.

"...Moo?"

CHINA'S HOUSE:

" WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T WATCH SNOOKI GIVE BIRTH ON LIVE TELEVISION!?"

" I will turn you into a good Chinese citizen! Now, I need to teach you Chinese!"

" You mean that dumb language with all of those symbols? I'm New Jersey, I don't listen to anyone, especially a Chimmy-Wong Jimmy-Kong guy!"

" THAT'S IT! YOU WILL HAVE TO GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

" You mean that dumb, non-Jerseyian thing?"

China punched New Jersey, and knocked him out.

Yes, I am back! See you in a couple of months/days! 


	7. Chapter 7

SHANGHAI

" So, what are we betting on?" Macau said, clearly annoyed at North Dakota and Wisconsin's childish behavior.

" Let's bet all of our territory," North Dakota suggested. Wisconsin agreed.

" Wait, are you saying that we should bet our sovereignty in one game of Blackjack?" Macau asked. North Dakota nodded and put a paper in the middle of the table. It was a contract agreeing to this game of Blackjack. " I've wanted to use this since I got a printer!"

Wisconsin and North Dakota signed the contract. Macau signed it, too, thinking that her skills could net her some oil and cheeze. North Dakota grabbed the contract and added something. Then, he slipped it into his pocket. Macau took out a deck of cards and started dealing them to the the players.

" Hit me," North Dakota said. Macau gave him a card. " No, HIT ME!" Macau gave him another card. " HIT ME!" Macau gave North Dakota another card. " STOP GIVING ME CARDS AND HIT ME! I GOT 21!" Macau grinned. " You do know that you went over once you said Hit Me once?" " Uh, no."

North Dakota started to slap himself once Wisconsin said " Hit me!" Macau gave him a card. " Well, I bust. Should've gone with that 20..."

Macau had 14, and she showed it. " Well boys, it seems that I have one!" " Uh, you did not win. Idaho did," North Dakota said. Macau looked at Idaho. He had a perfect 21. " Good job Idaho, you own us now!" Macau's mouth was wide open, and she was twitching. She tackled North Dakota.

" HE DIDN'T SIGN THE CONTRACT! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!"

" Well, I added his name to it, see?" North Dakota brought out the contract and pointed to the added signature. Macau tried to rip it, but North Dakota pulled it back. " Macau, why are you so angry? We will live together, have tons of great stories, and we can farm, and we can dance around campfires..." As North Dakota continued talking, Macau was twitching. She stepped towards Idaho, grabbed him, and squished him.

Wisconsin smiled as she murdered Idaho. " Silly Macau, Idaho can't die! He'll appear in Potato Land, with a population of 12! Now, we have to go on an amazing journey that will bring us closer together!" Macau was filled with rage. " I WAS SENT HERE TO GATHER COUNTRIES AND STATES TO STOP THE NAZIS AND LUXEMBOURG FROM CONQUERING THE WORLD, NOT LOSE BLACKJACK TO A POTATO AND GO ON A MAGICAL ADVENTURE TO SAVE IT!"

" Well, too bad! You aren't even a country anymore, your a county! Idaho didn't like your attitude towards him, so he downgraded you from one of the 4 major territories of Idaho to being a county! Side effects of being a county are sudden de-aging, a loss of power, and being extremely irrelevant," North Dakota said in a calm voice. Macau tried to punch North Dakota, but he couldn't even feel it. She went from looking around 25 to around 4, and she was not wearing scanty clothing, but a small dress.

" Your so cute! Now, time to go on an adventure," Wisconsin said, picking up Macau. She tried to resist, but it was futile as North Dakota and Wisconsin raced to get on a boat to San Fransisco.

YUROP

Meanwhile, in Yurop, an entirely unrelated place that will not be involved in the main plot at all, a few small, dead, non-existent countries were arguing.

" Really, Nurbenbrandennurenurmtak? You think your wine is the best? Well, as a proud citizen of Shlebufflebiber, I have to say, Dutchess Schleiss the 5th really knew how to farm grapes and make messy borders!"

" Wow, Shelebufflebiber, I thought you would stop saying that your empire was better than mine! I had a whole 5 disconected square feet and 2 grape plants, while you have 6 whole disconected square feet and only 1 grape plant!"

" Nurbenbrandennurenurmtak, how are you so uneducated? I own a square inch of land in the middle of Sardinia!"

" Shelebuffliebiber, that was your donation to the church! I donated 3 square inches of Alpine peaks to the church, while you only donated that square inch and that suicidal peasent!"

Then, another country walked up.

" People, the glorious nation of Lhlfedkhegpafsdhvahpfdsuihvjpfdangjivrehfbujngkbvbihfsk has mastered the technology of the Spear! Cower in fear of this new weapon that is much better than the average piece of flint!"

Then, their bickering continued. This is sadder than a Jersey Shore marathon. Let's move on.

REEDUCATION CLASSES

" I don't understand why we didn't succeed, Luxembourg! It was right in our grasp!" Nazi Germany was pacing around the bland room. Luxembourg was sitting on a desk. " Well, look at the bright side!" Luxembourg paused for a moment. " Wait, there is no bright side."

Nazi Germany continued pacing. " Did you get that formula to make a new country?" " Why, I did!" Luxembourg fished around in his pocket and pulled out a small tube of liquid. " YES! Luxembourg, with this, we can form the Soviet Union again to beat America!"

" I'll make him right now!" Luxembourg poured the formula on the ground. " Make the SAVIET ONION! Wait, no, the SOVIET UNION!" The formula started to form something. After 5 minutes of intense watching, the Saviet Onion was born. It was a red onion. Nazi Germany sat down and started to bang his head on the desk. " YOU IDIOT!" " What, it's still so powerful!" " IT'S AN ONION! This would only be useful if our opponent was another vegetable, like a potato!"

Luxembourg pouted. " Hey, you're hurting his feelings!" He picked up the red onion and put it in his pocket. Nazi Germany grabbed Luxembourg by his ear and dragged him out of the building.

BEIJING

Trenton was alone. He had never been alone, because he always tagged along with New Jersey. It seemed like China forgot about him. He waited in that one spot for a couple of hours, expecting New Jersey to come back. He didn't. Trenton, filled with depressed moos, headed out into the streets. Then, he saw someone he knew: Detroit. " Eh, you is that cow I saw with that Jersey boy!" Trenton liked Detroit, unlike everyone else, because he was like an upgraded New Jersey. He went up to Detroit.

" Hey, want to make some vines?" Trenton, thinking that New Jersey abandoned him, mooed in excitement. They went around, pranking people and planking on every surface possible. They even planked on top of a Chinese guard. They got arrested, and thrown in jail, but Trenton and Detroit even had fun on death row. They broke out a couple of hours after they were arrested with a very complex plan set up by Trenton: Moo. They mooed at everyone until they were set free.

Trenton filmed a Vine of Detroit asking "What Are Those?" to the Scorpion vendor. Detroit filmed a Vine questioning his existence. Both of them were laughing at the people jumping off of an office building while ISIS tried to take control of it. Both of them laughed at an ISIS member because of his fashion sense, and watched him explode his suicide vest in the middle of a bunch of other terrorists. They were awarded for bravery by preventing at least 50 civilian deaths and killing almost 30 terrorists.

Then, Trenton saw New Jersey. He wasn't planking, or trying to put graffiti on a government building. He wasn't flirting with girls. He wasn't doing anything wrong at all. He, in fact, was actually doing something good. He was with China and Tibet, having a friendly conversation in Chinese with a disabled person. He was helping a disabled person. He wasn't dumping the guy with a wheelchair into a river, he didn't make him pop a wheely: He was having a conversation in Chinese about their lives, and he was helping him cross the street.

Detroit's mouth dropped open. Trenton was horrified. " WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO NEW JERSEY!?"

Hi.


End file.
